Greeting earthlings, hope you have a splendid day. Thank you for taking the time to read this article, hopefully some of you read this article til the end (Aaaaah so sweet of you & may you have a BEAUTIFUL LIFE) & though some of you may read this halfway (You can suck my KORG,YOU RETARDED ANALPHOBIC CLIT LIP DUMP F**K!!!… cause i put a lot of effort into this). Kidding dude, do what your want!

So this is about nothing to something from everything to anything. It’s an article about whatever comes to my mind whether it could lifestyle, food, love, hatred, sadness, happiness, sex, electronic equipments, stupidity, Maria Ozawa or Jade Hsu or whatever I like (& I would like to apologies if my grammars, vocabularies & spellings is a bit fucked cause i’m a school drop-out)

This article, i’m writing now, is about how to be an electronic musician??? 1st of all what you need is a full length of strength, spirit & courage & always never give up hope… without this my friends you will never succeed in anything you want to achieve…& always remember that giving up is a failure in life….cause i almost did till i got a big double slap wake up call from my webmaster & always have that thinking again whatever i wrote above & that is why i’m writing this to you all…

Ok then, what is your main attempt to be an electronic musician, what really interest you? What kind of music genre are you into??? What kind of sounds you are looking for or what kind of beats you want to make??? For me, my influences are in the early 80’s. Back in mid 82 where i still remember vaguely, i saw a video clip by Depeche Mode,it was “Live In Silence” & i told myself what the fuck are they doing?!?!? What kind of music is this???….Then in the late 80’s came along, bands like S-Express, Bomb The Bass, Pet Shop Boys then again Depeche Mode where they release Music for the Masses & i told myself that this is the kind of music i want to play. A couple of years later came the industial scene… Ok, ok i’m a bit late in music & mind you that there is no internet (Til now i still don’t understand internet) & i have a bit of problem in me & that is reading cause sometimes i don’t understand what the fuck am i reading!!! Duuhhhh!!?!?!?!

Nitzerebb , Einsturzende Neubauten, Skinny Puppy, Fatima’s Mansion but Ministry & Nine Inch Nails open my eyes & mind cause that is where the age of rage i was in & i was into distortions & guitars. I made a band myself but it doesn’t sound right cause i was using a real human drummer. Then a drum machine was introduce to me,my perceptions in music changes & plus The Prodigy, The Chemical Brothers & Orbital (R.I.P) made it change more drastically.

Ok back to the ‘how to be an electronic musician’. Now you people are lucky cause the gods of software is everywhere (I much prefer hardware but anyway the feeling is mutual).So if you have a PC (I use PC cause it’s more hardcore & i can’t afford macs) or mac (or whatever even better if you have an ATARI 800), make sure you get a good soundcard cause that is the only way to get good sound quality. Don’t expect by using internal soundcard to sound good,usually it will sound thin,believe me cause it happens to me before. Now i use Soundblaster Audigy2 ZS by Creative cause it’s cheap & so far the sound quality is always good to my ears eventhough i have a bit of a stereo problem with my eardrums. So please keep it low & audible to your ears as possible cause you don’t want to reach a certain age & everytime people talk to you,you keep on saying ‘WHAT!?!?! MY CAT’S NOT FAT?!?!’ When people are asking you the time. So please take care of your eardrums, it’s a valueble assets if you want to be a musician,unless if you are Pete Tong.

Then,choose the software that suits you & what makes your work easier for you, make sure you really really really really know what you can do in that software, don’t just because your friends or magazines says, this is good, that is good, you try everything & have no time to get use to a certain software cause if that happens, when are you going to be good on what you do if you try all the software made in this world??? Once you understand the software then you can approach on other kinds of software but my advice is, use softwares that are VST friendly & if you could afford, use original VST software so your computer won’t crash too often & original music software can be upgraded by downloading it & keep your serial number to yourselves, make it like as though it’s your credit card number but if you can’t afford then it’s ok i don’t blame you people, cause some VST or softwares can be FREAKIN’ FUCKIN’ EXPENSIVE!!!!! In Indonesia you can buy a motorcycle with the price of a single software.

(To all software makers if you read this, please take note that many people around the world can’t spend their money like Paris Hilton or any decendant of the Trumps but some of the many people that you don’t know around the world can make you guys rich, so get out of Uranus & please land to the real world cause there are not too many rich or well to do people on earth, so don’t put the price to higH….i know,i know you got to pay taxes & other people for working on the software but do not charge ridiculous prices & also it will cut down piracy & so don’t blame the pirates YOU GREEDY F**K!!!!!!!)

Ok then again, back to the ‘how to be an electronic musician.’.Some of my favorite bands in Indonesia like Goodnight Electric & Rock & Roll Mafia uses Fruity Loops in their 1st albums. Well Mr. Howlett also known as The Prodigy uses Cubase 1st then dumps it & move to Reason but in the end during the mixed down for the “Always Outnumbered But Never Outgunned” album he uses PRO-Tools just to fatten the basslines. …….Hhhhmmm for me i much prefer to use ACID PRO cause i can fatten my bassline by using Sony Wave Hammer(if you have Sony Sonic Foundary Sound Forge,you’ll get Wave Hammer from the audio fx)& of course i like to mingle around with samples & you can cut & paste, blend ten different drum beats to make into 1 drum beat but make sure it’s the same tempo cause it sounds better to your ears but actually you could use different tempos for variations so you could do your own style & different people have different taste in styles so i leave it to you my friends.

1 thing i dislike ACID PRO is that if you want to render a certain loop that you’ve already arranged in a song & if the song is long & the loop is in the middle of it. Then you’ll get a long silence then your loop then a long silence again. Unlike Ableton where you can mark whichever loop that is in a song. You still can get the marked loop rendered smoothly. It’s just that to work with ACID PRO is much friendlier with the mouse scroll compared to Ableton & i like to use both, ACID PRO & Ableton cause it’s like having a 3some with 2 chicks but if i’m unlucky,1 of the chick might behave like a bitch on PMS. For instance my ACID PRO sometimes have problems with VST(My fault, GOD DAMNED YOU CRACKED SOFTWARES!!!!),it’s either a crackling sound or it just malfunction suddenly & my solution is, use Ableton cause they are more VST friendly but if you are using Ableton, do not, i repeat do not, did i say do not cut & paste too much or you’ll get a crackling sounds too unless you cut & paste in 1 midi clip but it’s gonna be 1 hell long of a midi clip.But sometimes it still have that same problem.(Again GOD DAMNED YOU CRACKED WHORE SLUT HELL SOFTWARES!!!!)Then once you get the sounds & arrangements right, render it to wav. format & save it so you can load it to ACID PRO. Then you can start arrange it again. I know it’s a bit toublesome but thats how i do it, maybe there are better ways or easier way, i don’t know cause i never go to music school nor read the manuals, damned i don’t even know how to play the keyboard but 1 things for sure i can write & arranged music, the rest i just use my instinct & my gut feelings.

So my comrads, it’s not how the thunder roars, it’s how you strike your lightings. If you strike the right spot, you can see the mark….I guess that’s all for part1 for nothing to something from everything to anything for now at the moment but i’ll try write more on ‘how to be an electronic musician.’ So start now!!! & A squillion thanks for reading this cause after writing this article, i don’t understand what the fuck did i write but i got the point & hope you do too…….

If you care,you share…..& 1 more thing i would like to thank & a big 1001 inch speakers + 1 000 000 001 mega watts of power shouts to Mr. Nicola Tesla who invented electricity cause without him we still uses pigeons to email & djs will be spinning on a grammaphone,… Aight!!!……….. PEACE!!!!!